Too soon

I have lost very few people that I was close to when I was actually old enough to understand what happened. The last was my great-grandmother when I was in 10th or 11th grade. That was ok, she had a great and long life.

Early Wednesday morning around 1 am I got a phone call originating from my aunt’s house. It was my mother. She delivered the terrible news that no one likes to say: Tommy stopped breathing. Tommy, who tried his hardest in recent years to shed his “young” nickname and get people to call him Tom, who was living with his parents to save money to buy his own house soon, who just became an uncle, who was 23. We’re still waiting on the reports to find out exactly what happened. I feel terrible for his girlfriend who was with him when he stopped breathing, and my uncle who may feel he didn’t get there fast enough when she ran upstairs to wake his parents for help.

I actually have very few first cousins, just 4. Two, Tommy and his sister Ashley grew up with us. I babysat them at least once a month for a few years, and we’d play Nintendo for hours (I was the best babysitter ever!). He, along with my sisters and I, devoted much of our free time to playing soccer. He was like me, soccer was the pretty much the only sport he lived for.

I’m doing much better than I have the past couple days. Given that I’m not comfortable driving myself to Orlando to catch a flight, and the only ride I can get would force me to miss the wake, I’ve made the tough decision to postpone going to NY until I feel comfortable with doing it by myself. If only the ones out of Gainesville didn’t cost half my savings… Thanks to everyone that has been super supportive, Charamy for her hugs and constant checking in, and Maya for purring constantly (well, she does that anyways, but it sure makes you feel better).